Childhood Development

            Hello world!  My name is Pierre Henri Thomas and today I want to tell you a little bit about what it was like growing up in France.  I was born and raised in the bustling city of Paris.  My parents, like most French parents, had what I would call authoritative parenting style with a lot of permissive style characteristics (Hertzel, 2012; National Public Radio, 2012).  I would say you could have a good perspective of the French parenting style by looking at eating habits of children.  Since I was little, I always ate what my parents ate and was never a picky eater; there is no “Kids’ Foods” category of foods in France (NPR, 2012).  My parents always said to me, “You don’t have to finish your plate, you just have to taste a little bit of everything” (NPR, 2012).  Another instance that demonstrates the almost laissez-faire attitude of my parents is my playing habits when I was younger.  My best friend, Jacques, used to come over to my house to play all the time when I was in elementary school.  While Jacques and I played in the other room, our moms would sit in the dining room, have some coffee, and gossip (NPR, 2012).

Mom and dad always laid out rules for my behavior throughout my childhood and into adolescence, but those rules were generally broad and allowed me a great degree of freedom (Hertzel, 2012).  For example, when I was a teenager my parents enforced a strict curfew of 1:00am; however, they allowed me (and trusted me) to go wherever I wanted as long as I told them where I was going and with whom.  I think the distanced guidance that dominated my parents’ parenting style is the reason why I am so independent and have a high self-esteem today (NPR, 2012).  My parents took a step back and let me make my own decisions instead of making decisions for me.

Family is very important in France, but work and other time commitments are highly valued as well (Craig & Mullan, 2010).  Coinciding with the take-a-step-back parenting approach, many French parents have an expectation that their children will adjust to their lives, rather that dramatically altering their own lives to fit the children’s (Hertzel, 2012).  This is reflected in French law regarding maternity leave: mothers can receive 16 weeks of government-funded maternity leave and are allowed three years of parental leave to raise their children (Craig & Mullan, 2010, p. 1348).  This custom reveals just how important both family and work are to French mothers.  My mom took a three-year leave from her job as a chef at a restaurant in downtown Paris in order to raise me.  At three years old, I started going to nursery school and my mom took back her old job (Barco, 2012, p. 994).

I asked my mom what kinds of childrearing activities she practiced when I was a baby, and one of the first things she talked about was physical contact and soothing.  She told me she did always pick me up when I was crying out of fear that I would become too dependent (Suizzo, 2002, p. 298).  She rarely carried me around in her arms.  Additionally, my parents did not practice cosleeping; I slept in a different room from my parents at night.  She was quick to mention, however, that she was always very concerned with my needs and never restrained herself in showing affection towards me (Suizzo, 2002, p. 298).

Growing up, my parents always encouraged me to try new things and explore my environment (Suizzo, 2002, pp. 297-298).  To this day, I keep trying foods that I have never tried, travelling to placed I have never been, and reading about cultures and practices different than my own.  Mom would always try out new recipes on me and try out exotic ingredients; the first time I tried escargot I wanted to puke, but now it is one of my favorite dishes.  This value on varied interests and experiences is important to me and it was important to my parents as well (Suizzo, 2002, p. 302).  My mom has always been very concerned with appearances and presentation as well.  She told me she bathed me every single day when I was an infant (Suizzo, 2002, p. 302).  When I was a bit older, she emphasized the importance of saying, “Thank you,” and emotional self-control in public (Suizzo, 2002, p. 303).  There is nothing my mom hated more than when I acted up in public and made a big scene.

That basically sums up my childhood.  For me, it was a completely average French upbringing, but for some of you, especially people outside of France, my story may seem a bit strange.  Even among Western cultures, French parenting culture differs from the United States, for example (Suizzo, 2004).  I take pride in France’s unique culture and customs.  Au revoir les amis!

References

Bacro, F. (2012). Perceived attachment security to father, academic self-concept and school performance in language mastery. Journal Of Child & Family Studies, 21(6), 992-1002. DOI:10.1007/s10826-011-9561-1

Craig, L., & Mullan, K. (2010). Parenthood, gender and work-family time in the United States, Australia, Italy, France, and Denmark. Journal Of Marriage & Family, 72(5), 1344-1361. OmniFile Database Accession Number: 91549827

Hertzel, L. (2012). The secrets of parenting, French-style. Star Tribune (Minneapolis, MN). General OneFile Database Accession Number: edsgcl.279932759

National Public Radio. (2012, February 12). What French parents do that Americans don't. NPR. Retrieved from the National Public Radio website: http://www.npr.org/2012/02/12/146769135/move-over-tiger-mother-french-parents-may-be-better-too

Suizzo, M. A. (2004). French and American mothers’ childrearing beliefs. Stimulating, responding, and long-term goals. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 35, 606–626. Academic OneFile Data Accession Number: edsgcl.121136502

Suizzo, M. A. (2002). French parents’ cultural models and childrearing beliefs. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 26(4), 297–307. DOI: 10.1080/01650250143000175